I’m trying. Thanks.

Not literally every minute, but throughout the day. Just having someone there being able to take you away from your boredom or to occupy you when you’re bored, or to just simply talk to you about how your day went. It’s comforting to know that someone genuinely wants and likes to talk to you. 

I couldn’t make it to 1st period today. Not even 1st period. I couldn’t sleep last night. I tried to get up this morning, I dragged myself out of bed to get ready. I cried in the shower, as much as I can to get it all out so I can go to school with a smile. I didn’t eat because nothing seemed appetizing. I thought I pulled myself together enough. But as soon as my friend hugged me, everything came out again. I’m So. Fucking. Weak. I tried to stop crying in time before the bell rang but I couldn’t. The tears just keep coming out and I’m honestly tired of them. I sneaked out and went home, running into a few people on the way. I didn’t care about anything, I just wanted to make it to my room before I break down again. They hugged me and it fucking comes out again. School’s not important anymore. Friends aren’t important anymore. Neither is family. Neither is myself. It’s selfish, but I don’t care about anything anymore. I don’t give a fuck. I just want to sleep. Everything hurts, my mind, my head, my eyes, my chest, everywhere else in my body, and my heart. I want it all to stop. 

I didn’t intentionally do it but it just kinda happened. I lost communication with certain friends, and I became more independent. I’m just trying to look out for myself now. Trying to not get attached to certain people because it might hurt me in the future. Sure life’s about taking risks but there’s also a point in life where you get tired of getting hurt. Tired of trying. Just tired of everything. I’m just trying to live life happily.

• Jealousy
• Insecurity
• Loneliness